Every December, the same promises resurface. We tell ourselves that next year will be different, that this time we’ll follow through.
Most of us already know how that story ends. By February, the promise has slipped away—not through lack of willpower, but because it was never built to hold on its own.
In his TEDxAtlanta talk, Why You Keep Breaking Promises to Yourself (and How to Stop), Walt Brown offers an insight that lands especially hard this time of year: promises don’t work well in isolation.
Walt was a self-professed serial promise breaker. Diets, health goals, and commitments tied to serious moments in his life—all made with good intentions, all eventually broken.
Over time, those broken promises did more than slow progress. They quietly eroded his trust in himself.
What helped him make sense of that wasn’t a productivity system or a mindset shift, but philosophy. Drawing on the work of Yale professor Stephen Darwall, Walt points to a simple idea: a promise only carries real force when it’s made between people and explicitly accepted.A promise made to yourself doesn’t quite meet that standard. There’s no second person to receive it, no shared moment of acknowledgment and no relationship holding it in place.
Seen this way, the problem isn’t discipline; it’s design. Promises weren’t built to work alone.
What Changed When Someone Else Was Involved
The turning point in Walt’s story didn’t come from stricter habits or renewed determination. It came when someone else was involved.
When his wife committed to supporting him, the effort became shared. Accountability stopped feeling abstract, and progress was no longer driven by self-imposed pressure. Trust—mutual and visible—did the work instead.
That same dynamic shows up in Walt’s work with organizations. Companies make promises constantly, whether through job descriptions, values statements or the way meetings are run. When those promises are vague or quietly broken, trust thins out. When they’re clear and consistently honored, something steadier takes hold.
Teams perform better not because culture slogans suddenly work, but because expectations are actually upheld.
A Different Way to Think About the New Year
Atlanta is a city shaped by connection. Progress happens because people show up for one another across neighborhoods, networks and communities.
Walt’s talk suggests that personal change works much the same way.
So instead of asking, What promise will I finally keep this year? it may be more useful to ask, Who needs to be part of it?
As the New Year approaches, that shift matters. It’s not about more willpower or a better resolution. It’s about recognizing that promises—like communities—tend to hold when they’re shared.
